Does Angela still exist?

I ask this question because I have been thinking a lot lately about what my life has become since becoming a wife and then a mother. Today (4/23) is my fourth wedding anniversary. I was Angela, then we became Brandon and Angela and now it is The X Family. As wonderful as it all is and the fact that I truly believe God put me here to be Brandon's wife but above that, Lily's mother, I am missing something. I'm missing Angela. My "thing" used to be manicures once a week, brows waxed every two weeks, spa pedicures once a month and a regular cut, color and style every six weeks. Brandon's thing is golf. He eats, sleeps, breathes golf. He has never given this up nor would I ever ask him to. I do not mind because he works very hard for us. I, however, have not colored my hair since the day I found out I was pregnant with Lily. I can't remember my last manicure. I just got my hair cut for the first time in at least 6 months and I had a pedicure today for the first time since the fall. I do keep up with my brows because that would be too scary for everyone. My excuse, I feel bad for leaving Lily and I don't really "need" the attention. The truth? Yes I do "need" the attention. Now I feel guilty for these thoughts. Oy vey.