Oh my...

Me: Lily, pick up these toys or I am going to throw them all away.
Lily: No, mama, please no. I will pick them up. (as she runs over to pick things up.)
10 minutes later I walk in to the bedroom and she is laying on her couch kicked back watching tv.
Me: Lily, did you forget what I said?
Lily: You can just throw them away. (as she looks around with her arms raised)

If only everything worked like the Red Box...

Lily: Oh man, I want a little bebe.
Me: Like a brother or sister?
Lily: No, not to keep forever..(in a very disgusted voice with this look of horror) You know, mama, when I play with Madison and then she goes home?

That's what you call an RV, Clark...

Well, it is almost Christmas. Almost Christmas. What? When did that happen? I just had my 29th birthday...2 months ago. Lily just turned 3...3 weeks ago. Seriously, time goes so fast. I am blinking through life. I am still so in love with my job. They fired my secretary so it has been really really busy, but it will work out. I have had lots going on to have had many good posts, but of course, today when I actually do post, I got nothin'. Here are a few uber cute pics of bebe and I will leave you with that.

Pregnacy and Stillbirth Awareness - October 15 - Spread the Word

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.
Action Steps:
Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others
-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.

GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others

-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.

GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act

-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."

GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.

Too cute and one of our favorites...

Ups and downs and ups again...

Wow! What a last several weeks. I started my new job and absolutely love it. It was the right time for me to go back and the right thing to go back to. Very busy, very out of sorts, a little overwhelming and a whole lot challenging, but not the least bit stressful. Well, stressful, yes, but any time you are working against major deadlines and on major projects, there is a certain amount of stress involved. This, however, is not stress that haunts me at home. Before I had Lily, almost three years ago, (insert loud sob and boo hoo here) I was working at least 50 up to 60 hours a week. Some 12 and 16 hour days. I even took work home. Blah freakin blah. By the time I said C-YA BYE, I wasn't even convinced that I ever wanted to step foot back in a legal office again. I am so glad that I did. I am so glad that this prayer was so clearly answered because, as we all well know, the answer is not always so clear. Well, maybe it is clear, but since it might not be the answer we wanted, it may "seem" convoluted. Anyway, this is awesome and I am grateful for this opportunity.


My personal relationships are suffering. I feel like I am still a good friend, but my drama always seems to overshadow anything else my friends are dealing with and that is all my fault. I have never been a huge drama mama, but lately, everything, I mean everything, hit all at the same time. I have been in a very funky funk for several weeks. My mind and heart are battling it out and I am just waiting to see who will prevail. Please pray for this part of my life. Without having an exact name for it, please just ask God to lift me up and He will know.

Lily loves being in school full/part time. She is having so much fun and comes home every day to tell me all about her day.

Without further ado, Auntie M and Uncle C welcomed their baby girl into this world on August 27 at 10:30 a.m. weighing a whopping 6.5 lbs and 19.5 inches long. She is beautiful. M's mother died when M was a little girl so they named her H*** K***(M's mom's name well, her first name is M's mom's maiden name and her middle name is M's mom's first name.) She is so beautiful.
Here is Baby H...

Moving on.

I had my first full time day back in the workforce today since one week before Lily was born. It was bittersweet dropping my bebe at preschool this morning and heading into downtown with a briefcase in hand and heels on my feet. I know it is going to be good for all of us...all three of us. I think we will go to the aquarium this evening.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

A little break...

It has been a long weekend. Sorry I have not returned calls or texts. Oh, or email, as you know the crackberry is surgically attatched. We might talk about it.
I will leave you with my bebe, my reason for smiling...

I did it...

I formally accepted the offer and I will be starting on August 19. I am so excited. Now to give my notice. Ouch...

Help...

I had a job interview Monday and she called today to offer me the job. I interviewed with this firm last fall and felt fantastic about the interviews, the attorneys, the office, everything. I had an interview with her, then an interview with 2 of the attorneys, then a phone interview with all three of them together and they "went with someone with more recent experience." Totally understandable since I had been out of the legal field almost 2 years. Well, she contacted me several weeks ago saying that the person they hired back then did not work out. This time, all the same, I interviewed with her then the 2 of the attorneys joined us, the ones I met with last fall, then she called today to make an offer.
Why didn't they offer me the job last year??
Pros:
Crapton more money
Back in the legal field where I want to be
A lot of responsibility
We can afford Montessori
35 hour work week
Family is the firm's #1 priority
Always have weekends and holidays off (unless a trial is pending)
Be with Lily every.single.night
Cons:
No cushy schedule like I have now
I pretty much come and go as I please as long as I get my work finished
More than the 20 (up to 40) hours I work now
A lot of responsibility
No more discount
I love love love my manager now and I would really leave him in a pinch if I gave my notice
Struggle to afford Montessori
My manager was so glad to see me today. It was my first day back since my vacation and he went on and on about how he is glad I came back and this and that because this happened and that happened. Yowza, talk about guilty feelings. There is no way they would pay me anywhere near what the firm will though. HELP! I told S I would let her know tomorrow or thursday. I need some input, please.

A shameless promo...

I don't know if anyone has followed my blog link to List 5, but you should...He happens to be a very good friend of one of my besties. Take a gander and perhaps add a story or two and get published.
Oh and check out List 5

I almost forgot...

We are on our way to the beach. I will be MIA most of the week as I promised Lily I would leave the phone alone. Texting is still allowed, lol, but no internet. She even pointed her finger at me and shook it while she said it. Awww bossy bossy bossy. Hugs to all and I will be back next week.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Tit for Tat or...Tat for Tit

Soooo, we have been trying like crazy to get rid of the stinkin' "ni-ni" That is our universal term for the pacifier. Lily is super attached to this thing, especially since giving up chi chi several weeks ago. Well, we are limited to laying down, no tv, no noise, and in the car on trips longer than 20 minutes. Well, yesterday, we went all day without the stinkin' thing, including a car ride to the next town over. We then fell asleep last night and went all night long until 7:45 this morning. She woke up begging for chi chi. I mean, pulling at my shirt, grabbing, tugging, pleading for chi chi. She latched on for about 1.2 seconds and (through her sleep, closed eyes and all) said "I am too big for chi chi mama, but chi chi is still my friend" Talk about getting all teary eyed. I have never said she was too big for chi chi, she quit all on her own. Many might believe she is too old, but eh, she is done and she weaned herself. I got up to find a stinkin ni-ni because she started asking for chi chi again and I wasn't going to go through that again. What am I going to do to get rid of this thing? For the first 3 months of her life she never even took a darn pacifier, she just used me and that is why we started using one. AGH! That certainly bit me in the butt and she still nursed for over 2.5 years.

Mamma Mia, here we go again...

So today we, Lily and I, went to visit Auntie M and Uncle C. M is so daggone cute. She is 32 weeks along and she is absolutely the most beautiful mama to be. Inside and out. Lily was so sweet to her and her bulging belly. M is a tiny stick so she is all basketball belly and Lily was very gentle and helpful. C is the absolute epitome of the first time dad. Giddy with anticipation and grinning from ear to ear. They are going to make the most awesome, wonderful, incredible parents. I did not one time get the urge for another bebe. I enjoyed talking and laughing with M about all things bebe and she kept on and kept on about my turn and such. I examined the nursery, beautiful, BTW. I looked at swings and car seats and cloth diapers and I did not get one flutter in my heart for a bebe of my own. I am sooooo stoked for M and C, but I can easily live vicariously through them, especially if I watch the little bugger. Did I mention that they are not finding out what they are having until she/he pops out? Lily still does not want a little bro or sis, but she was very inquisitive about the bebe in Auntie M's belly. Of course, she wanted to see if Uncle C had a baby in his belly too. Uncle C used to have more girth to him, but 18 months in the Iraqi desert will make a guy shed 30 or more lbs. He, of course, had no bebe in his belly. Lily then wanted to know if Frankie, the kitty cat had a bebe too. Lots of questions today about bebes and how they get into people's bellies...
Lily: Auntie M, can I see the bebe?
M: You can in a few weeks.
L: Will you have another bebe in your tummy when this one comes out?
Me: She might, honey, but not for a little while?
L: How did that bebe get in there?
M: Ask your mama.
L repeats her question to me.
Me: How do you think the bebe got in M's tummy?
Lily: Um, um, did it crawl through your bottom?
Laughter ensued...

Oh and the crappiest part? I have to miss all of the showers. Saturday, we will be on vacation, the couples shower we have a wedding in Northern Ohio and the other one also falls on some other pre engagement. UGH! These are some of our best friends!

I know...

And it hurts.

Someday...one day

So many moms around me are experiencing losses. Whether they are early m/c or later term losses, it is so sad and horrible and heart breaking. It makes me want to hug these woman and be hugged back, because I know...
We also glory in tribulations,knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4

Well, it is official...

It has been "official" for a while in the sense that Lily only asks for "chi chi" once a day every couple of days since about 30 months old. Well, she turned 32 months old on Tuesday...pause for a big sigh and a boohoo...and she asked to see and hug and kiss "chi chi" and tell "her" goodnight. She also would ask if there was still "mama milk" and such. Earlier this week she asked to see it and said "I love you "chi chi" but you are no good" and that was it. Has not even asked about her since.

Please continue to pray

Genny had a stroke and she has no brain activity. they are taking her off life support and letting the family be with her. [The Lord said,] "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:9

Her name is Genny.

That is Kaycee's baby girl's name.

Please pray...

My friend Kaycee had her baby girl yesterday. She is only 26 weeks old and she is not breathing on her own. Please ask God to lift this family up and let this baby come home with her mama.

30 years ago....

Brandon was born.

I knew it would happen eventually...

We have been pt'd for quite some time now, but we have been very lucky to never have had a BM while we are too too far from home. This makes it easy to race home and run inside with minimal mess or accident...today was the day...Oy vey! You might recall Lily and I are not public bathroom people. Heck, the "diaper bag" has seat covers, disposable wipes, lysol, and alcohol wipes. It also has a change of clothes, panties and some other randomness. Anyway, we are used to "#1" in the restroom with Lily. It took me quite some time, but I had to accept it. I nearly passed out, threw up, screamed, etc. when she announced..."Mama, I gotta go poooooopie. NOW!" Okay, can I make it home? No. Can I make it to so and so's house? No. Only one option left. The ladies' lounge at Macy's. I knew the Family Bathroom would be disgusting because, well, it usually is. After a quick lysol spray, like 30 seat covers and a quick poopie later, we are washing our hands (and spraying and squirting and anything else we can do to them) and headed for Club Libby Lu. We both had somewhat of a breakthrough today. I, however, will go in my pants before I use the public bathroom. I cannot raise Lily to have OCD as bad as I do though. It totally helps that when we walk into a bathroom, Lily proudly announces..."Don't Touch Anything!" Now that is not a terrible creed to live by...at least I have to agree with her.

Short and Sweet

I will be quick because we are still out and about but I had to share...We had to go to BABW today because they are giving out free beach towels with your purchase. Yep, we just had too. Anyway, we ended up with a new monkey. Well, we already have a monkey named...Monkey so, guess what his name is? Guess...CHICKEN! Yes. You heard right. Monkey's name is Chicken Monkey. She did some other cute stuff today but I will be back later for that.

I found a way to make you smile...

Wow! Alot has happened since my last post. Not like anything major or important, but just several things to talk about. The first one, Papa, Lily and I were at BABW earlier this week and she and Brandon are at the computer. I am standing behind them as Brandon is helping her type. Well, she wanted to do it all by herself so she said :get out of my face, papa, I know what I am doing!" AGH! I had to walk to the other side of the store as I was going to pee my pants from laughing. First of all, I curse, yes, but we do not say things like that in our house. I will take all the blame for Lily dropping the S bomb, the D bomb or the ever favorite B bomb (I'm working on it though), but words and phrases like "shut up", "get out of my face", "fart" "hate", "kill", "die" etc, just do not occur in our house. Unless...SHE is there. My personal friends know who SHE is and have probably heard many stories. That's all I have to say about that.
Anyway, while at BAB, we got a new elephant. Well, because we already have an elephant named...you guessed it..."Elephant", this one is very aptly named...Pirate. Sometimes ARRRRR. We also got the new Panda, and well, he is named...Panda. I am so glad that she has a great talent for unique and exotic names. I can say that though because she does have a baby doll named Helen and a BAB Valentines' Dog named Cracker. Those are the 2 most "different" names we have around here. Oh, she does call Lucy "Weiner Snitzel"
Here is a picture of Lily with some of her BABs. We are crazy addicted and it shows. There are still some missing from the pic and some piled on top of each other, sad really. This is her favorite place to be though. Any time we are headed somewhere where she knows a BABW is, we are there. We even make them at the Cincinnati Reds games. Come on now!

Here are some pics of Lily voguing while trying on her new bathing suit. A 2 toddler BTW! Wow! She is growing so much!!! This went on for like 15 min and we finally had to drag her out of the fitting room with bribes and such. She loves trying on clothes.

And here we are at Chili's. She loves the "Big Peppa"
My personal favorite!!! She happened to be a movie star while I was on the computer one day and I put NKOTB's Today show performance on Youtube. She was jammin' to "Whoawhoawhoawhoa, Hangin' Tough." She even had the hand/arm wave. Awwww, a child after my own heart. Oh, I also have to add that Lily has an imaginary friend. He is a dinosaur. He is small enough to carry around in the diaper bag, but big enough to need his own pillow and blanket every night. He sometimes has friends come over but they do not stay all night and he has to have his own plate, which she will dish out his food. He gets his own bowl of water too. His name is, well, I will let you guys decide what she might have named him...He goes everywhere with us and it is quite painful if we, any of us, forget him. She rarely does, but it happens. She wakes up looking for him, looks over to "his spot" and "sees" him and will drift back to sleep. It is pretty darn cute.
G'night!

To be so innocent and carefree...

I have to wonder, at what point do we, as humans, learn to be subtle and private about our bodily functions and needs.
We went to my besties' daughter's dance recital (it was awesome, btw) and Lily told me during a performance that she needed to go potty. We proceeded to make everyone in the aisle get up and let us out. Do you go butt to face or crotch to face? No idea. Anyway, there was a long set of steps to go up to the bathroom once we left the auditorium. There were still quite a few people out in the lobby waiting for their respective child's performance. We did our business in the ladies room and started our journey back down the steps toward the auditorium doors. Lily stopped midway on the steps and grunted a little and let out the loudest longest "toot." I said, "Lily!?" She looked at me and said "scuse me, mama" She then turned around to the people walking the steps behind us and said "I just tooted, I didn't go poopie" very matter of factly and continued on her descent. Oy vey!
I am very close to A's family so everyone kind of looks out for each other's kids. Anyway, K, A's SIL is getting ready to have her first baby, like yesterday, and Lily kept talking to the baby in her belly. And L, A's youngest and Lily were dancing and singing the whole time and it was so dag gone cute.

Today...

Well, today my dear friend P called me and asked me to watch her 12 week old. Well, he will be by the time she has to return to work. I would love to watch him. I would absolutely love it. My question(s)? How do you not mix business with personal and what in the world do you charge? I love her and I would watch him for free if I could. T suggested that I watch him until he is one. That is an option and my bff is having her baby in September and wants me to watch her also. That would be a nice bit o' change, but not what I am used to bringing home too. Oy vey!
Here are some uber fun pics of Lily Bug. Here's the hat T and J got for her last summer.

With her bestie, my dad.
Oh my!

I've been Tagged!

Kristi was the generous one. So here's the rules as to what I had to do and if you are one of my lucky 7 below then you need to also do the following: 1. Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog .
7 'Fabulous' Facts:
7. I am terrified of mimes because of a movie I watched when I was 6.
6. My daughter just made us pretend peanut butter and banana sandwiches and she is flipping them on the pretend griddle with her ping pong paddle and it might be the best sandwich I have ever "tasted."
5. She just poured us a pretend glass of milk too (and put pretend straws in them).
4. I wear a bracelet that has L-I-L-Y on it every single day.
3. I can get a second strand with another name on it for free.
2. I love my family and friends more than I could ever express and my mom and dad are my best friends.
1. Lily is my whole wide world but I want another baby so badly.
My 7 lucky people are:
Ariane
Tasha
Michelle
Melanie
Jacinda
Shelly
Katorce

What a good weekend...

We had a wonderful weekend despite the rain and cold. A little while ago, Lily was climbing up on a bucket she had flipped over and I heard her say "whoa, steady now." Too freakin' cute. Here are a few pictures with my new camera that my awesome DH bought me. forgive me because my photography skills are sooooooo not good. Lily and Papa playing Wii.
Lily and I playing Candy Land. She beat me, fair and square...twice!
Lily saying "one mow time, yayan" when she wanted my sister to chase her around the house... And Lily riding her bike in her underwear... Our newest family member... Guess what his name is??
FISHY!
And finally, some randomness...
T...you might recognize this shirt. and this one with my phone, but super cute... Thank you, God, for my wonderful family and my incredible friends.

And we finally have it...

All the slides, sandboxes, water tables can be moved. We have finally filled the play area up with mulch and Lily was such a big helper. Our future plumber... And after we moved the slides... Sorry about the quality, my camera batteries died so, as usual, all I had was my phone. There is another smaller slide to the left but it gets cutoff in the picture for whatever reason blogger decides.
Next project is getting siding on the shed dad's students built for us in class. Well, we also have to get the sand box moved and the water table up there too. I am so excited to get those big ol' slides out of my living room and bedroom!
And an uber cute pic of my precious bebe at 4 months old!

Here comes the bride...

We went to a fantastic wedding last night. The bride is Indian and good 'ol M is a white boy from KY and it was so interesting to see the 2 families interact. It was all Indian food and traditional Indian garb. It was really funny because, I know S way better than M, but M and Brandon work together. We sat on S side and we were 2 of 6 not Indian people on the bride's side. M's entire side was "white". It was a backyard wedding. Okay, when I read backyard wedding, this was so not what I expected. The "backyard" overlooked this huge lake on the back nine of an exquisite golf course. Their playhouse in the backyard was as big as some homes in town, it was crazy nice. The bridal party did a traditional "wedding dance" for the bride and groom and it was amazing. I am obsessed with other cultures and this just made my night. There was no beef or pork in any of the food, which was splendid for me. I did have a couple of drinks and danced and danced and danced. M and S were absolutely stunning and they are so perfect for each other. They had this amazing "kid's place" for the children at the wedding. It had gumdrops and candy sticks and a chocolate fondue fountain. I promise you, it looked like Willy Wonka created it himself. There were these cute little buckets and bags you could fill up and take home with you. The porta potties had sinks! Did you hear me, sinks!?!? The tent had chandeliers. Yep! It was so lovely and wish them the best forever. Despite what Myra said in hr speech. And I quote..."S, you know I am here for you regardless of what happens between you guys..." I'll give you a minute to read that again...She said that during her toast, IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE RECEPTION! What the heck does that mean, regardless of what happens. What happened to, "Congratulations, you guys are meant for eachother, live long and prosper" or whatever. I took some pictures. They are only of the dances and not very good as all I had was my phone.

Man, Lily is way too cute...

There is a lot of new construction going on around us and with all of our yard work and such, there have been bulldozers and back hoes and the like everywhere. Well, since grandpa has a tractor, all of these are tractors. On our way down the road Lily said: "look at all those tractors, mama, vrooooom vroooom, no wait, my mistake, that is a motorcycle, ruuuuum ruuuuum ruuuum, that's a tractor." She also said "mmmm, mama this is so good, no wait, it is delicious." I lub her!

I love Lily, Part II

Lily always says, "What are you doing guys? Guys, what are you doing?" Lily has a meltdown if you walk in the other room after she asks to go with you. She hollers, "I said please, didn't you hear me?" When Lily wakes up, the first words out of her mouth are "where's papa?" Every.single.time. When I explain that he is at work, she says, "you don't go to work, please." Lily has a new baby doll named Lily. She names all her BABs their respective animal or color. Lily sometimes says she is a big boy and her name is Hayden. Lily loves loves loves babies...me too me too. Lily knows what to order at her favorite restaurants. Exactly what to order, right down to the milk. She loves salad and we usually have to order her own. Lily eats everything with ketchup. If there is not enough on her plate to her liking, she will not eat any more until you replenish her glob. Lily loves chips and salsa and spinach dip. Did I say loves, I meant that she would eat it all day everyday if it was allowed. Lily loves watching the playoffs and is a Lakers fan already. She still yells "touchdown" when they score a basket, but hey, it works. She is struggling with no "ni-ni" but those were the "dennis" (dentist) rules. She randomly spouts "garbage, har har har" in a very deep voice. She is my beautiful bebe and she is so awesome. To be continued

Guilty...

I am feeling so guilty about what happened last night at work. I have thought about it all day and night. He was off tonight so no one saw him. I now realize, in part, that it was a witch hunt and my information sealed his fate. Apparently his file is pretty thick but honestly, I truly believe he is harmless. Stupid, but harmless. Anyway, it sucks because if he, which he will, loses his job, I am partially responsible, at least that is how I feel. Ugh! It sucks. There are so many other people with so many other, much bigger problems and I am wasting my thoughts on some psuedopervert from work. Boohiss. I'm sleepy.

Long day...

Work sucked today and it did not help that 5 minutes before I got there, I had dropped Lily off at school and she screamed, begged, pleaded, cried for me not to leave her. What was I supposed to do? It took everything I had to not load her up in the car and come back home to cuddle and play and do what we do best. I called and talked to her favorite teacher about 15 minutes later and she said she was doing fine, but dude, it ruined my day. Little did I know it was not going to get any better. I had to tell the Loss Prevention guy about some potential sexual harassment "things" going on at work. It sucked! I have never taken them as sexually aggressive. They are not towards me, I just am the middle man, confidential shoulder to cry on from both parties. Anyway, did I mention it sucked?! This manager is a douche bag, yes, and he is pretty worthless, but I highly doubt he would stalk MC or do anything crazy. He is rather inappropriate, but I think it's because he has no idea about how he is supposed to act. Anyway, I think highly of MC and I hope that RS changes his ways and lets her be. I also forgot to mention that RS avoided me like the plague the entire night. Ass! Anyway, I thought the LP guy was there because someone was stealing money and merchandise. When he asked me what was going on, my resposne was "someone is stealing cookies out of the back shelves." He laughed and said that was not why he was there. He must think I'm a quack. Thank goodness I don't really care what too many people think. Oy vey!
Well, here are some uber cute pics of my bebe. The second one is of Lily bug picking out her new bike and helmet. She is so in love. And I am so inlove too.

And some pics of my bebe...

Seriously. I'm addicted...

Postsecret.blogspot.com; It updates every Sunday. There is a link in my stalked blogs.

Take a moment, please...

And pray for two of my friends. One of whom I am close with and the other I "know" through our children. Melanie's brother in law, Dave is being taken off of his ventilator and he will be leaving this earth because of cancer caused by breathing asbestos. Liz, runs A Small Victory, and has endured more loss than any family needs to go through, has been told that her son, who is only a few weeks older than Lily, probably has Hodgkins. Unbelievable. Please add these awesome families to your heart's list.

From the mouths of babes pt IV

Lily as she almost dropped her book while reading in the car seat: "Whew, that was a close one."
Lily as I asked her for the third time to take her medicine: "I need a spoon full of sugar, mama."
Me: "Lily, do you need to go poopie?" Lily: "No ma'am."
Me: "Are you sure, because I don't want you to have an accident in your pants."
Lily: "Maybe you might have an accident in your pants."

That's funny.

My sister watched Lily this morning while I went in to work for a couple of hours. Haha, she said Lily wanted to cuddle all morning. My sister does.not.cuddle. Too funny. Who can resist cuddles from this adorable little witch. (yes it is a picture from October, but it is too cute) And for the heck of it, some more Wedding/Hawaii pics:

And here's a wedding picture...

Am I being "shellfish"?

Shellfish is what Lily says in place of selfish. It is so freakin funny to hear her say, "mama, I'm not shellfish it is MY ball (or toy or whatever)". Anyway, I want another baby, I want to be pregnant and I want Lily to have a sibling. For one, I don't want them to be so far apart that they can't stand each other, much like the relationship my sister and I had for years. Second, when something happens to Brandon and I, I do not want Lily to be alone. I mean, hopefully by the time anything like that happens she will have a family of her own, but you know. On the other hand, I probably would not be able to stay home 24/7 with the new baby. While the first 2 years of Lily's life was okay, we have grown to expect my tiny little addition to our income and it would be a set back to go back to being home again. Then I would have to find someone I feel is qualified enough to watch my precious brand new bundle of joy while I was at work and until mi madre was able to pick him/her up. That would mean someone to watch my baby 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. I, of course, would do everything I could to make sure I could breast feed this one as long as I did with Lily. I also would be home more during the day and work in the evenings. Brandon says no way. He does not like sending Lily to school, which she loves, and he does not want some "stranger" watching our baby. He's right, but people have kids all.the.time and somehow things just work out. Anyway, am I being selfish for wanting to bring another baby into this world knowing he/she would not have mama home 24/7? I would still breast feed and I would cloth diaper so it's not like this baby would be a huge expense for at least the first 2 years. Oy vey! My mom has said repeatedly that she will not be able to keep a 3 year old and an infant at the same time. She is right, because that is a lot to ask of someone who has raised her children already, works a fulltime job and keeps her house too. Pray for me.

Wedding bells

Today is a wonderful day and we have had a grand time. Lily went to school and my mom will pick her up so Brandon and I can go out to dinner.
4 years ago today I was waking up on my wedding day in Hawaii. I had my dream wedding and I think about how perfect it was all the time. I will post some pics in a bit.

Does Angela still exist?

I ask this question because I have been thinking a lot lately about what my life has become since becoming a wife and then a mother. Today (4/23) is my fourth wedding anniversary. I was Angela, then we became Brandon and Angela and now it is The X Family. As wonderful as it all is and the fact that I truly believe God put me here to be Brandon's wife but above that, Lily's mother, I am missing something. I'm missing Angela. My "thing" used to be manicures once a week, brows waxed every two weeks, spa pedicures once a month and a regular cut, color and style every six weeks. Brandon's thing is golf. He eats, sleeps, breathes golf. He has never given this up nor would I ever ask him to. I do not mind because he works very hard for us. I, however, have not colored my hair since the day I found out I was pregnant with Lily. I can't remember my last manicure. I just got my hair cut for the first time in at least 6 months and I had a pedicure today for the first time since the fall. I do keep up with my brows because that would be too scary for everyone. My excuse, I feel bad for leaving Lily and I don't really "need" the attention. The truth? Yes I do "need" the attention. Now I feel guilty for these thoughts. Oy vey.

I should probably not have any more children...

I spend waaaaay too much money on this child. In the last 2 days she has gotten clothes, shoes and, of course, BABs. This is ridiculous. On the good hand, the second child will be clothed very nicely, unless, of course, he is a boy. I do only buy with coupons, GAP card rewards and such, but still. Oh well, she is super cute, even if I say so myself. Here she is helping Papa in the yard.

Haha! From the mouths of Babes...part III

Lily: "Mama, I really need a kitty cat."
Me: "Lily, is that all you want? Just a kitty cat?"
Lily: "Um, well, and a bike."
Me: "Okay, so all you want is a kitty cat and a bike?"
Lily: "Um, well, (again, pointing her finger and pondering out the corner of her eyes) and some raisins."

From the mouths of babes...part II

Papa: "Come on Lily, let's take mama to work."
Lily: "No, mama, please don't leave me here."
Me: "Why not, Charlie Brown?"
Lily: "Papa is so mean to me."
Me: "Oh no, honey, What did he do?"
Lily: "He, um, he um...(while she taps her index finger on her chin and looks out the corner of her eye) He made me brush my teeth."

Well Sh*t!

I am allergic to MY allergy medicine! What the hell? Like the itchy poison ivy wasn't bad enough, now I have a hot itchy rash ALL over. Oy vey!

Braces make for itchy happy faces...

I got my braces put on today...again...and I am covered in poison ivy. I guess I will be headed to the school dance after I get my drivers license and the big test on Friday. Damn! This is not my prettiest time...

From the mouths of babes...

Me: "Lily, would you like to have a little brother or sister?"
Lily: "the baby will be in your belly?" as she pats my stomach
Me: "yep, the baby will live in my belly until it is ready to come out and play with you"
Lily: "can I ride the baby?"
Me: "no honey, but you can play with him or her but you have to be gentle"
Lily: "no, that's okay, I want a bike"

My husband is at it again...

Baby pangs are gone. Thanks for that reality check.

It was there again today...

That urge, that desire, that need to have a tiny baby in my arms. M, you are the whole reason for this! Even my mom said that she was listening to my grandma talk about all her grandbabies and the newest great grandbaby so she was feeling it too. Oy vey! Luckily my husband says no way, no how, no! He is my voice of reason. God, if you really want me to have a baby, I'm cool with that.

Some random thoughts...

I talked to one of my besties today who is 17 weeks pregnant.
Her baby is due on my birthday. Normally that would be a whole big issue for me, but if anyone has to share my birthday, this spawn of two of the greatest folks on earth can do it.
I had my first baby pangs this month. Not enough to do anything about it but in M's words, "you should have lots of sex so you can be preggo too." Haha, the pangs aren't THAT strong.

We went and ate at my parents' house today.
They are my best friends.
I know I shouldn't tell them that.
I cannot help it.

I LOVE chocolate.
I HAVE to stop eating it.
Atleast whole bags of it.
I miss my friend Katorce.
A lot.
Lily was so good today.
We sang and danced and played.
Sometimes I wish she was a tiny baby again.
But then I realize how much I love this age too.
There is always drama at my job.
It is caused by one person.
I have some really good friends in this world.
Even if some of them live in my computer and telephone.
We get internet back on Tuesday.
I will not be at the mercy of my phone any longer.
Woohoo!
Oh yeah, if God decides we need another baby, yay!
Until then, I'm not pushing the issue...I will continue my pills as usual.
Goodnight.

My sister is my friend...

My younger sister recently moved in with us and I am glad. We have been arch enemies for years and have finally come to enjoy one another. We are WAY too alike which is the cause for our issues. That and I am a selfish b a whole lot of the time. Anyway, she is my friend. Lily loves her "auntie" too and likes having her around.

To be inside a 2 yr old's mind...

I love Lily, Part I

Lily does not listen. I mean, she gets a thought, want or urge in her little brain and that's it. Tunnel vision until she gets what she desires. She will sit down in the middle of a crowded mall begging to go up and down the escape (escalator). She will scream "mama, why are you so mean to me?" at the top of her lungs when she has to ride in the stroller. She wants french fries for breakfast, lunch and chocolate for dinner. She refuses to use public restrooms. (which I don't mind, because I do too.) She will wear her jammies 24/7 if we would let her. She wants to wear her cowboy hat EVERYWHERE. Lily cannot stand for her baby dolls to wear clothes. She names them things like "Naked Baby", "Baby" and "Helen." She quotes movies like a grown up. She cannot stand to have her hair brushed so forget about fixing it. She loves cheese and tomatoes. No matter what the fixings, lettuce is always "salad." She can eat her weight in Sonic ice. Lily will say things like "mama, I know what that is, um, what is it?" She gets upset when waiters don't talk directly to her when they are taking our order. She can watch a movie a million times in a row and laugh like it is the first time, everytime. She toots and blames it on the dog but still says "scuse me." She loves bubbles and cuddling. She sings with the radio even if she doesn't know the words. She dances to an ever present tune in her brain even if we don't hear the song. She thinks corn starch is the cure for all ouchies. This is my baby. To be continued...

Why?

Why are there people in this world who clearly, clearly do not earn the right to be parents? And why at the same time, are there people who try and try and just cannot be blessed with a child of their own? The truth is that God has a plan and this is part of His plan. Who am I to question this plan? All I can do is pray for both sets of parents...and that poor baby in the store tonight. That sweet, smiley, helpless baby. God, please protect that little girl.

Rain, rain go away...

We have had rain for over a week now. Lily and her papa went to the park Tuesday but it was wet. The sun was out for a brief while but oy vey! We need some sunshine. In the good 'ol bluegrass state though, when we have a good soak before the spring, EVERYTHING turns green and it is beautiful. I just have to make it through the rain, oh and the cold too. Well, we are off to school and I will be working today.

I am so thankful.

My daughter is so wonderful and healthy and smart. She has an incredible memory and is always asking "who, what, when, why, where and how." God is so awesome and this precious, most beautiful little creature is proof of God's existence in this scary, dark and sometimes questionable world. Thank you, God, for sending your only Son to die on the cross for our sins. Thank you, God, because without you and your bright Glory, I would be so gray and uncertain. Thank you, God, for my little girl who is here next to me, snoring as loud as her papa and kicking me in the back. I would not, no, I could not imagine it any other way. Thank you, Father.

What's dat?

I wanna give you a kiss...

This is Lily's sure way to get out of timeout. No matter my anger, no matter her tears, all she has to do is look at me and say "I just wanna give you a kiss" and all is forgotten. It is pathetic really. I'm like putty in her hand and she knows it. Next time I will maintain my authority, yep, next time...

Easter was a success...

We had a wonderful Easter. The Easter Bunny hid eggs and Lily got bubbles and play dough and of course more candy than anyone needs for years to come. Lily's papa told me on more than one occassion that Easter is not like Christmas or Birthdays when it comes to giving gifts. Haha, that is why she only got 2 movies. Nana and Grandpa had a visit from the Easter Bunny too. More candy and another movie.
I wonder how excited God was when he raised His Son from the dead. When He knew He was coming Home to be with Him at His side. How glorious that day will be, when God calls all His children Home.

Strawberry fields forever...

I realize this has turned into a movie blog for the last few days, but what can I say, we are a movie watching family. Across the Universe is FANTASTIC! I saw the previews of it before Stardust and thought, "hey, I love the Beatles, I love the 60s and I love modern musicals." It is so good. Lily loved the music and she was so good about hiding her head during the almost too violent parts. We turned it off and she was singing "judejudejudejude!" Well, we are off to the mall to find a stick horse and get the Horton Elephant from Build a Bear.

Santa!! I know him!

Well, it may not be the most appropriate movie for my almost 2.5 yr old, but she LOVES Elf. We are talking Lily bug will watch this movie morning, noon and night if I would let her. Hey, atleast it isn't Bad Santa, right...? Oh yeah, she has another snotty nose. That is the third one since she has started school. Damn germ infested kids. I am still looking for that plastic bubble to protect my baby. "Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?"