And here's a wedding picture...

Am I being "shellfish"?

Shellfish is what Lily says in place of selfish. It is so freakin funny to hear her say, "mama, I'm not shellfish it is MY ball (or toy or whatever)". Anyway, I want another baby, I want to be pregnant and I want Lily to have a sibling. For one, I don't want them to be so far apart that they can't stand each other, much like the relationship my sister and I had for years. Second, when something happens to Brandon and I, I do not want Lily to be alone. I mean, hopefully by the time anything like that happens she will have a family of her own, but you know. On the other hand, I probably would not be able to stay home 24/7 with the new baby. While the first 2 years of Lily's life was okay, we have grown to expect my tiny little addition to our income and it would be a set back to go back to being home again. Then I would have to find someone I feel is qualified enough to watch my precious brand new bundle of joy while I was at work and until mi madre was able to pick him/her up. That would mean someone to watch my baby 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. I, of course, would do everything I could to make sure I could breast feed this one as long as I did with Lily. I also would be home more during the day and work in the evenings. Brandon says no way. He does not like sending Lily to school, which she loves, and he does not want some "stranger" watching our baby. He's right, but people have kids all.the.time and somehow things just work out. Anyway, am I being selfish for wanting to bring another baby into this world knowing he/she would not have mama home 24/7? I would still breast feed and I would cloth diaper so it's not like this baby would be a huge expense for at least the first 2 years. Oy vey! My mom has said repeatedly that she will not be able to keep a 3 year old and an infant at the same time. She is right, because that is a lot to ask of someone who has raised her children already, works a fulltime job and keeps her house too. Pray for me.

Wedding bells

Today is a wonderful day and we have had a grand time. Lily went to school and my mom will pick her up so Brandon and I can go out to dinner.
4 years ago today I was waking up on my wedding day in Hawaii. I had my dream wedding and I think about how perfect it was all the time. I will post some pics in a bit.

Does Angela still exist?

I ask this question because I have been thinking a lot lately about what my life has become since becoming a wife and then a mother. Today (4/23) is my fourth wedding anniversary. I was Angela, then we became Brandon and Angela and now it is The X Family. As wonderful as it all is and the fact that I truly believe God put me here to be Brandon's wife but above that, Lily's mother, I am missing something. I'm missing Angela. My "thing" used to be manicures once a week, brows waxed every two weeks, spa pedicures once a month and a regular cut, color and style every six weeks. Brandon's thing is golf. He eats, sleeps, breathes golf. He has never given this up nor would I ever ask him to. I do not mind because he works very hard for us. I, however, have not colored my hair since the day I found out I was pregnant with Lily. I can't remember my last manicure. I just got my hair cut for the first time in at least 6 months and I had a pedicure today for the first time since the fall. I do keep up with my brows because that would be too scary for everyone. My excuse, I feel bad for leaving Lily and I don't really "need" the attention. The truth? Yes I do "need" the attention. Now I feel guilty for these thoughts. Oy vey.

I should probably not have any more children...

I spend waaaaay too much money on this child. In the last 2 days she has gotten clothes, shoes and, of course, BABs. This is ridiculous. On the good hand, the second child will be clothed very nicely, unless, of course, he is a boy. I do only buy with coupons, GAP card rewards and such, but still. Oh well, she is super cute, even if I say so myself. Here she is helping Papa in the yard.

Haha! From the mouths of Babes...part III

Lily: "Mama, I really need a kitty cat."
Me: "Lily, is that all you want? Just a kitty cat?"
Lily: "Um, well, and a bike."
Me: "Okay, so all you want is a kitty cat and a bike?"
Lily: "Um, well, (again, pointing her finger and pondering out the corner of her eyes) and some raisins."

From the mouths of babes...part II

Papa: "Come on Lily, let's take mama to work."
Lily: "No, mama, please don't leave me here."
Me: "Why not, Charlie Brown?"
Lily: "Papa is so mean to me."
Me: "Oh no, honey, What did he do?"
Lily: "He, um, he um...(while she taps her index finger on her chin and looks out the corner of her eye) He made me brush my teeth."

Well Sh*t!

I am allergic to MY allergy medicine! What the hell? Like the itchy poison ivy wasn't bad enough, now I have a hot itchy rash ALL over. Oy vey!

Braces make for itchy happy faces...

I got my braces put on today...again...and I am covered in poison ivy. I guess I will be headed to the school dance after I get my drivers license and the big test on Friday. Damn! This is not my prettiest time...

From the mouths of babes...

Me: "Lily, would you like to have a little brother or sister?"
Lily: "the baby will be in your belly?" as she pats my stomach
Me: "yep, the baby will live in my belly until it is ready to come out and play with you"
Lily: "can I ride the baby?"
Me: "no honey, but you can play with him or her but you have to be gentle"
Lily: "no, that's okay, I want a bike"

My husband is at it again...

Baby pangs are gone. Thanks for that reality check.